Descent to Soul Canyon

Michael Ebbinghaus • April 13, 2023

Try Less; Get Out of the Way

Nothing can prepare you for what follows in the wake of Soul Initiation. Plotkin makes it out to be an arduous and painful process, but he writes to those that are deeply embedded in the illusions or maya of the middleworld. Some of us are gifted with tendrils to the underworld, but these often come at the (fair) price of pain. The hall of mirrors of my childhood and my sensitivity to the truth of the Unconscious forced much of me into the shadow, and much of my strengths into academic pursuits. Some of this is melodramatic – my family resourced me in many brilliant ways. They taught me to value joy over money, and encouraged me in many different endeavors, both artistic and intellectual, practical and nonsensical. 

I remember the immense fear associated with losing the locus of my identity. Now I realize that there was never anything to lose. The vitality I traded for security is, at present, pouring out of me, and the myopia of my former position so apparent. I feel safer than I ever have in my life. I am adrift on a raging river, and my trust in its flow is fundamental. My heart more and more with each day transforms into the philosopher’s stone, that substance which can turn all experience into gold. I see my heart, community, relationships, and work transforming as a result. 

I described some of my previous soul encounters in a previous article. The process of transformation has proceeded gradually over the last five years and is the basis for my first book, The Light of Inner Guidance: A Practical Path to the Ineffable. There was nothing that could prepare me, however, for what would occur when a group of friends in communion with their soul work gathered in the deserts of West Texas to fast, pray, and commune with the wild wanderings of the Earth’s Dream…

Our destination is Big Bend National Park. Our caravan embarks early, the threads of soul spinning wildly. Our conversations dance and flow with an amazing lucidity, parts of a singular organism. We deepen. Our love for ourselves and each other begins to pour out like a flood. I am no longer with the people that I have known, but with the living dynamic beauty of Soul in action.

 

We set up camp in a desert valley in Terlingua, just outside the park. While the others gather firewood and explore the surrounds, my compatriot and I venture into the park to obtain our backcountry permits. We will hike up the Laguna Meadow trail the following morning when we are 40 hours fasted and with 50lbs of water and gear. It will be the most arduous physcial experience of my entire life.

 

When we return, we all venture towards the top of a local hill, dancing in the wildflowers and delighting in all of the whimsical features of that strange land. We are coming into a greater communion. Cacti calls to one of our number with precarious vocality. The views are incredible, the landscape magical. As night descends, we build a fire, trading tales and experiences, desires and pain. The fire dies down, and we join hands around the coals. “I am the one who…” we all take turns saying. We offer our prayers and one by one retire to our bed rolls and tents. There is no turning away.

Morning comes, and we say our farewells. The two of us that have a long hike ahead venture out first. Within the first half mile of the hike, it is clear that this journey will demand everything of us. The hike up the Chisos is ~5.5 miles, with nearly 2,000 feet of elevation gain. Everytime we stop to rest we are in delirium. With no energy to spare our egos, the prolonged hypnagogic state is achieved. Strange visions emerge everytime I rest my eyes. By the time we arrive at the campsite, we are absolutely gassed. Our rejoicing is brief, followed by a lengthy midday slumber. Potent dreams await us at night…

 

The following day is where we each find our soul encounters. Mine was more of a soul nudge – I feel that I have been clay in Soul’s hands for the last few years, and this was simply an indication of one place in particular I was not paying much attention to.

 

I have always deeply loved music and had a natural sense of rhythm. I’ve played alto sax for about 20 years, and have a melodious voice. I have felt a call to be a country/folk singer, but have never made much effort towards that endeavor other than singing consistently on drives, at home, and at the occassional open mic.

 

While wandering on the third day, I began to hum a tune, and began to put words to it. The song came out more or less like this in its fullness:

 

Here we are my friends

In the valley of surrender

No common sense

We chase the de-hew of dawn

 

With flowers in our hair

And torches of dry blooms

We’ve come to dare

That death will not be our doom

 

Keep all your blessings

They abound out here

Take all my transgressings

Transmute them into air

 

I’ll never know

Just what this plane’s about

Oh but what a joy it is

To-oo-oo find out.

 

My heart broke open as I sang these final words, delivered gingerly from the Muse. I sobbed uncontrollably. I felt the utter recognition of my strength and beauty, and mourned all the time I spend outside of this feeling. I wept for my family, my mother, my father, the Earth.

 

For the remainder of the day, I wandered and pondered. A heaviness came over me, a felt sense of being on the wrong path, of being utterly lost, what Plokin and others refer to as subpersonalities, a part of myself not fully in my own consciousness that can take me over and that causes distress in my relationships (precisely so that we may come into consciousness of them – it is how wounded children meet their needs). This dejected, lost sub appeared to me that night in the form of a homeless African American father and son.

 

I had seen these two before in a previous dream a year and a half ago. Then he took the form of a homeless young black man on the streets of San Francisco who had come up to me saying that I “owed [him]” (see Embodied Dreamwork Practices Part I). I did not recognize him at the time.

 

In this most recent dream, the father and son were dear friends of mine, and I was able to give them a place to stay (I still employ them in a wounded way in order to draw a romantic connection closer to me, but progress is progress). This is why I look to my dreams with such fervor. I feel they reveal us so delicately and perfectly, and to witness the transformation of our unconscious parts cements a joy that is difficult to describe.

 

All of this is well and good, but the real work began as we returned to the middleworld, back to our homes and habits. Many of us have had major shifts even in this week, and for myself, what I needed to let go of and what I needed to welcome in have been very apparent.

 

I remember the call of my soul. I remember the strength, vigor, and clarity that is my birthright. I am Rekindler of the Arcane Flame to Feed Hungry Hungry Hearts. The fire burns so brightly in me that it draws others near where their own wells may grow hot.

 

And this is just the beginning…

The Sentient Soul

Black and white security camera mounted on a textured wall, pointed forward.

From Crisco to Surveillance Capitalism: Seeing Through Illusion and Awakening Collective Consciousness

By Michael Ebbinghaus • September 3, 2025
Explore how propaganda, consumerism, and lost perennial wisdom shape our world—and why awakening collective consciousness is urgent today.

Ketamine-Assisted Therapy in Austin

By Michael Ebbinghaus • August 8, 2025
What is Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy? Ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP) is a modality that uses low dose ketamine alongside talk therapy to access non-ordinary states of consciousness, helping clients process trauma, depression, and anxiety in a new and deeper way. One of the most common complaints about traditional psychotherapy is that it can take a very long time for unconscious material to surface, even after a solid relationship has formed with your therapist. While there are techniques we utilize in our practice that do not require substances (e.g. dreamwork, sentence completion, automatic writing/drawing, etc.), the introduction of intentional medicine work can reliably shift one into an altered state of consciousness, catalyzing access to unconscious material. After a brief introductory period, you will take ketamine under supervision from your therapist either in-office or virtually in the comfort of your own home. The therapist will guide you to take your own journey as well as direct you towards areas that might benefit from exploration in an alternate perspective. Learn more What is Ketamine? Ketamine is a dissociative anesthetic acting primarily on the glutamate neurotransmitter system. This differentiates it from the traditional psychedelics like LSD and psychedelic mushrooms which are much more prominent in the serotonin system. Ketamine increases neural plasticity, meaning that the brain becomes more flexible to change, open to new insights and behaviors. Ketamine has been used for over 50 years as a surgical anesthetic. It has no impact on the respiratory system, making it one of the most safe and effective medicines available. It is classified as a WHO top 10 essential medicine, and it is so safe that it is still the anesthetic of choice for children. It is a schedule III medication approved for off-label use in assisted psychotherapy, meaning a healthcare professional must be supervising in some capacity. Screening is essential, see below for more information. How KAP Works One of the things we like to stress is that the medicine is taking you to a place within yourself. It is not the ketamine "doing" anything other than relaxing your emotional defenses and allowing for exploration of consciousness. That said, you will feel a degree of relaxation in your body as well as your mind, which allows things which we keep buried to come up to the surface. By shifting into an alternate state of consciousness, we are able to sublimate many of the barriers we have in place that remain opaque to us. Oftentimes simply allowing this material to surface creates greater harmony, and you ma find yourself saying "Oh - this is what I've been afraid of for so long? It's not so big and scary after all." This is not always the case, of course. The nature of what is hidden can also be very painful, which is why the presence of the therapist as well as the therapeutic relationship is imperative when first working with alternate states of consciousness and healing trauma. What Does KAP Treat? Ketamine's claim to fame comes from its potent and immediate anti-depressive effect . While this requires lifestyle change and further exploration - greatly benefitted by depth psychotherapy - this can be incredibly helpful to those experiencing treatment resistant depression. It does this primarily through breaking up rigid neural networks (enhanced neuroplasticity), limiting one's ability to ruminate. Ketamine for depression can be powerful, indeed. In a meta-analysis of over 2,500 patients, it was found that 45% of people had significant drops in clinical depressions inventories, with 30% in remission. The benefits were often sustained at 6-month follow up. Ketamine-assisted therapy can be helpful for those who experience post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD . The clinical evidence here is quite strong, with multiple meta-analyses and an open label study showing durable and significant reductions in PTSD symptoms in as many as 69% of respondents and up to six-months' follow up. Ketamine for trauma is widely studied and efficacious. Anxiety is also significantly reduced after brief KAP treatments. In a glimpse, ketamine can treat: Treatment-resistant depression PTSD and trauma-related symptoms Anxiety and existential distress Addiction and maladaptive coping Spiritual exploration or life transitions What Does Treatment Look Like At Ebb & Flow Depth Psychotherapy, we believe in the importance of a strong therapeutic relationship to help sustain the positive effects from ketamine treatment. To this end, prior to any medicine session, there are 6-8 preparation sessions (this can be reduced to 2-4 if you are already working with another therapist). From there, we will conduct two initial dosing sessions with an integration session in between each. We would then conduct another 6-8 dosing sessions, also with an integration session in between each. Our Approach During each session, you will be gently guided into your body utilizing a simple meditation or, if preferred, ambient music. We utilize sublingual lozenges, tablets which will be dissolved and swished in the mouth for 10-12 minutes, then spit out. This offers a psycholytic approach rather than a psychedelic approach. We prefer the psycholytic approach for two main reasons: 1) This helps to make ketamine-assisted psychotherapy more affordable, as the presence of a medical professional such as an RN is not needed as they are in IM (intramuscular) or IV (intravenous) injections. 2) Psychedelic ketamine therapy can be effective, but in our hustle and bustle world, the subtle work often gets overlooked, and it is the subtle work that carries us the farthest. If you’re seeking a full psychedelic experience, I often recommend doing so on your own time and terms, ideally in nature or a supportive setting. There are few practitioners I would trust to guide me through such an experience, and they come at an extraordinary financial cost more often than not. With psycholytic ketamine therapy, we are nudging gently and entering into an altered state but not breaking open the doors of reality. Through the experience and through the journey you've taken thus far, which includes your triumphs and your traumas, we will expand not only on who you are but who you are meant to be. Your exuberant and mature presence is sorely needed in this world, and it requires reconciliation of our darker nature and highest aspirations. Who is KAP for? Ask yourself now: "Am I in a place where I am ready for deep self-exploration?" "Am I open to the idea of letting go of things which both pain and comfort me?" "Can I remain off of substances and away from process addictions (such as pornography, over-eating/bingeing and purging, sex, etc.) for at least three days?" You may not be ready for KAP if: Are experiencing active psychosis or mania Have untreated Bipolar I or II disorder Have a personal or family history of schizophrenia Are currently struggling with active substance dependence If you are in a grounded place and ready to make shifts in your life, KAP may offer the support you've been looking for. Ketamine Therapy In Austin, TX - How to Get Started Contact me today for your free consultation to see if ketamine assisted depth psychotherapy might be right for you. Myself and the fine clinicians over at Journey Clinical are ready to help you find deeper meaning in life and be the change in the world you wish to see. We conduct ketamine-assisted therapy in Austin, Texas as well as virtually all over the state. Reach out to us today!