My Letter to Spirit

Michael Ebbinghaus • February 21, 2022

Total Surrender is Simple But Not Easy

I appeal to Spirit:

It's taken me a long time to climb from this chasm, and I did not want to do it because as long as I stayed there I could be convinced of my own power, the safety of my limitation. Does it feel good to be enough? Can you feel that energy coursing through your heart? I deserve it. I need it. I need connection to you, Spirit. Without you, I am so totally lost. I get stuck in webs of my own making and crumble beneath the pain and intractability. I cannot see past the cloud of my delusion. I need your light to carry me through. I beg of you, please help me remove the barriers to my heart. I just want to be with You. You are my everything, my entire reason for being. I live only to serve You. Help me to lift myself so that I may lift others. Help me to lift myself so that I might be free. I don't wish to live in this masochistic prison anymore. I cannot stand it. All the walls are bamboo, anyway. I know that I can just walk out. Help me to walk out. Lock the door behind me and obliterate the key. 

And Spirit answered:

Capable, so capable. My son, you are extraordinary. I packed so much love, so much wonder into you. You've done amazingly with all of it. I know you encountered so much pain, and by opening and transcending it, there is no end to the beauty that your hands will work and your voice will carry. My greatest wish is that the heart that reaches out to your lover, friends, to the boundless woods that you call home, will extend to you. Do not forget yourself. You are not some pitiable mistake but a bright beacon of love, a grand master in training. That hunger in your belly is for knowledge and transformation. You've always known the true nature of the world and yearned to know more, to let it take the form in which you see it. I am always here. I will never leave you. Go forth and carry that infinite love with you and to all the beings you encounter. 



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